1. in court

    1. judge: sir, where were you at 4:20pm last sunday
    2. me: well you see sir i was just blazin some dank ass kush
    3. my lawyer: same
    4. me: same
    5. judge: same
    6. police: same
    7. obama: same
     
  2. sassy-brain:

    I JUST FOUND COMEDIC GOLD ON A PORN WEBSITE OMFG

    I WAS LOOKING UP PORN TO SHOW MY ROOMMATE WHO JAMES DEEN IS AND I FOUND A GUY WHO CALLS HIMSELF LIMERICK LARRY AND HE WRITES POEMS ABOUT THE PORN VIDEOS

    I CAN’T BREATHE

    (via dutchster)

     

  3. kenobi-wan-obi:

    when someone say hi to ya bae for too long

    (via mustachestarcraft)

     
  4. (Source: schwarzfee)

     
  5.  
  6.  

  7. decepticonofficial:

    i find it really angering that abusive friendships aren’t addressed as much as abusive relationships. they’re both very much alike, horrible, and do a great deal of damage. its hard to talk to someone about leaving an abusive friend and feel like you’re being taken seriously

    (via girl-farts)

     
  8. (Source: fuckyeahlost)

     

  9. gogogadgeturl:

    i accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life i don’t know what does

    (via dutchster)

     
  10. tastefullyoffensive:

    Decoding Your Restaurant Menu [medium]

     
  11. stream-space:

    lunulata:

    No really. Watch this.

    Ancient Chinese instrument, the sheng, which originated back in 1,100 BC, and it can perfectly replicate the music in Mario.

    It even makes the coin noises.

    Fuckin excellent

    (via deathwang)

     
     
  12.  

  13. tumbrlplug:

    *drops food and says Ctrl+Z*

    (via deathwang)

     

  14. carryonwinchestering:

    Being internet smart is like the 21st century version of being street smart. 

    Okay Dad, these are the websites you use to watch your show. 

    Sockshare, Putlocker, gorillavid, nosvideo and novamov are your friends, stick to them and you know you’re okay.

    DO NOT click on anything that wants you to download updates or DivX. 

    DO NOT click on adverts on the side. 

    And be very cautious of fake play buttons. 

    You are ready. Go forth and watch Dexter. 

    (via dutchster)

     

  15. luvyourselfsomeesteem:

    Eh, I don’t like when people be like “black girls watch out cause white girls getting booty these days” cause to a black girl’s ears it kinda sounds like “watch out because your only value is your fetishized body and once that’s gone you’ll truly be worthless”

    (via girl-farts)